These eighty years the garden’s stayed unchanged
No, as the seasons turn they fade or bloom
The colours, textures somewhat rearranged
This time next year familiar scents assume

The gravel paths, the cared and tended beds
The birds that visit daily reassured
There is no predator that softly treads
Their safety at their grazing is ensured

But should the writer seek to fly away
To seek excitement, danger, far and wide
To seek out wond’rous places, for they say
We will regret our chances if denied

But here surrounded by wisteria
One cannot claim that it’s inferior

*Might have been inspired by The Zombies*

Now I know I’m old and single
Maybe prone to a silly thought
There’s a woman called Alexa
Who is driving me distraught
Though she’ll turn the volume lower
And tell jokes without a care
When I want to know her better
She’s not there

When I need some information
Maybe learn some history
She will give me all that’s needed
She solves every mystery
But when night falls and I’m lonely
Alexa drives me to despair
I would marry her tomorrow
But she’s not there

She obeys my every order
Switches lights both on and off
She’ll suggest a piece of music
Maybe play Rachmaninoff
But when I ask her to come closer
Run my fingers through her hair
She is not so quick to answer
‘Cos she’s not there

Museum café rainy day
Killing time another cup
Perhaps a bun then I can stay
Until the manager locks up

Maybe he’ll notice maybe not
Perhaps I’ll stay here all the night
I’ll happily stay and be forgot
Till opening time and morning light

And then I’ll stay another day
A day a week perhaps a year
And from this corner rarely stray
The staff forget that I am here

And others sit around me now
I say hello no answer back
It’s odd when I remember how
I used to laugh and have the craic

But I am happy to be here
My work is done and now I’m free
I do try not to interfere
As I sit back and drink my tea

Today I wandered through the halls
Which were familiar way back then
I overheard two people say
“Whatever happened to old Ben?”

For I am now part of the show
Though not what visitors pay to see
Don’t be alarmed if you should glimpse
A shadow with a cup of tea

There was a young gardienne called Caroline
Whose assessment of risk was thought very fine
One day by the store
She was squashed by a door
Now her safety credentials are borderline

NB – no gardiennes or other persons were squashed in the making of this lament

The tale of Ireland is a tragic one
We know the many troubles it’s been through
The warlike men with axes, guns and spears
The Vikings down to Cromwell and his crew

But then there came a hidden enemy
In eighteen forty seven if I’m right
It came along in silence, mockingly
From nowhere came the cruel potato blight

This new attack the others did eclipse
To emigrate the folks salvation lay
The people climbed aboard the coffin ships
Which sailed to take them to Amerikay

But wait some heard of yet another land
And not so very far across the sea
In Jersey maybe they could lend a hand
To build a harbour paid most handsomely

Some lads packed and sadly hugged their mother
Set off by foot to finally reach the port
And with their final pennies bought a ticket
‘Take us to Jersey’ was their only thought

And so when they arrived at Jersey docks
Off they were sent to Verclut’s shantytown
To blast and lift the heavy granite blocks
From early morn until the sun went down

And in the night while all the locals slept
A penny whistle sounded notes forlorn
As they lay down to rest and quietly wept
And prayed their families lived to see the dawn

Each morning they would rise unwillingly
Their weary bones to drag all through the day
The works proceeded only grudgingly
The lads relieved to still receive their pay

And then one day the building work just stopped
Maybe you know just how the story goes
The harbour lads just went off home to Ireland
I think a couple may have stayed, who knows

Today we happily drive down to St Catherine
And stroll along the breakwater so slow
Perhaps next time you’ll spare a thought for Ireland
And those gallant lads who built it long ago