(Sung to the tune of ‘The British Grenadiers’)

Some talk of Robin Cousins and some of Bartelski
Of Alcott and Jayne Torvill
The greats of history
But of all our winter heroes there’s none of whom we dream
Who will bring great glory to our shores
But the British Curling Team

When they step out onto the ice they step so merrily
And neither do they fall about
They have gripper shoes you see
I guess they’re likely legal but maybe they are not
But it means they are so steady as
They line up their first shot

The British stone it slides away and ends up in the house
The foreign shot is very poor
Enough to make them grouse
For all their busy sweepers their shots go all astray
While the British stones line up and guard
Their winning shots all day

All through the opening rounds they’ll go
Beating every team in sight
For none at all can match their skill
And they’re beaten out of sight
And when they reach the final we’ll watch them on TV
By now we know the funny rules and recite them endlessly

And now we have new heroes
We sing of Eve and Bruce
For never do they miss a shot none of them are ever loose
But if they lose the final they’ll ruin our greatest dream
No longer are they British
They’re the Scottish Curling Team