Not that I’m expecting it or anything, but neither was Gary Burgess and he’s way younger than me.
I’ve not been to too many funerals in recent times but it seems that, generally speaking, you (or your family) can have a say in how the ceremony goes. And I believe the general idea these days is that funeral clothes and black ties are no longer Ć la mode.
My Mum is having a good go, like Eleanor of Aquitaine, in outliving her children. In which case I’ll be upsetting her by rejecting a Catholic funeral and going Humanist. These affairs, I understand, don’t include religious content, including traditional hymns. But, for starters, let’s have a look at the most popular, traditional hymns taken from a random website.
1. Amazing Grace
2. Going Home
3. Abide With Me
4. How Great Thou Art
5. All Things Bright and Beautiful
6. The Old Rugged Cross
7. Morning Has Broken
8. Great is Thy Faithfulness
9. What a Friend We Have in Jesus
10. Be Thou My Vision
Umm, no, though presumably I’ll not be that bothered on the day.
So what are my picks? I’ve always had two in mind but today I added a third possible. The two are
1. Rest In Peace, (Mott the Hoople). Written in 1974, it was already a retrospective. It has stood the test of time and, as the original members of the band have started to pass on it has gained in poignancy.
2. Meet on the Ledge, (Fairport Convention). It wasn’t written as a song about death, but it can be beautifully imagined as such.
And the third, the one I decided on earlier. Another Mott the Hoople number performed here by leader Ian Hunter, now 81. Saturday Gigs is an old Mott fans’ favourite and is rich with nostalgia.
Which might leave me with two more picks, not sure how many are allowed. I might go back to my teen years for the first. Clear White Light by Lindisfarne, the folk/rock band which has achieved sainthood in the north-east of England. This was one of their signature songs.
Finally, one I doubt would get the nod even from the most liberal of celebrants and tolerant of family and friends. Black Sabbath were a shock metal band from Birmingham, playing the pubs and clubs when I was in my final years at school. Ozzie and mates have apparently played their last after a mega career, but Sleeping Village (and its iconic cover, below) remains one of their best songs. (On re-listening, maybe best played quietly in the background as the few mourners arrive.)
So, have you thought about your selection?
Back On The Rock 
I must listen to these, and revise mine. I only have Knockin on Heavens Door by the bard, Robert Zimmerman aka Bob Dylan and Wish You Were Here, by Pink Floyd. I have no prose/poetry chosen yet. Or any live music!
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Prose & poetry, I must up my game š Thanks for your contribution, must have a listen to yours.
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Glad to see you’re giving this serious thought, Roy, and that you are staying faithful to Meet on the Ledge, which is what you put forward when I wrote on this important topic last year. I am still holding fast with my own primary music selection from that post, Let There be Peace on Earth. Now that you’ve started, don’t forget to think about what food, drink, and activities you want your grievers to partake of as they gather to celebrate your totally awesome life! š
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Hi Jane, I must re-visit that post, I’d forgotten about it. I totally agree that the occasion is best carried out (within reason) in accordance with the wishes of the deceased. I might supply flags to wave too. That’s a nice choice of yours with typical concern for others, but a bit too religious for me. I’m too selfish.
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Flags to wave, I like that idea!
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Most of the funerals I’ve been to have at the crematorium and they usually last about half an hour. They tend to play a piece of music as you go in and one as you leave and I’ve sometimes thought maybe I should have no celebrant at all but just half an hour’s worth of tunes, so that you actually get the chance to hear them! I’ve already picked ‘Feeling Good’ by Nina Simone, possibly ‘Halleluiah’ (Leonard Cohen but sung by K D Lang’, maybe ‘I Wanna Be Your Dog’ by Iggy Pop (just cause it’s one of my favourites ever) and I do like Knocking on Heaven’s Door – but the Guns ‘n’ Roses version….
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Thanks Andrea, I must listen to that kd lang version. My first commenter suggested prose/poetry as well as music, a good idea and I might have to ditch Black Sabbath to allow this.
Good that you have given it some thought.
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Roy, this is a shocker coming from you or my sense of you.
I don’t want to have a funeral at all – so don’t have to concern myself with selections.
I know there’s that awful saying in Ireland that ‘we do death well.’ I think we do it very badly and just want to exit without putting anyone through what I perceive as the horrors of a funeral.
I’ve made my wishes known but as yet am not quite sure how it can be orchestrated.
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I doubt you’re that easily shocked Jean š it certainly wasn’t meant as such. I think, if there must be a service at all, that it ought to reflect the deceased’s tastes, so maybe you’ll have a bit of Heaney poetry read at least? I’d also choose to have nothing but does that not disrespect family and friends who may wish to play a small part?
I agree with you, I don’t think the traditional Irish wake/funeral with all the trimmings is appropriate now, all the more reason we should have a say in the matter.
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The shock was YOU writing about the topic, not the topic itself. A bit off piste for you, I’d have thought.
Close family are aware of my views so are fine with my choice as they know me so well. Anyone who wanted could plant an apple tree or donate to the the local hospice.
You got me thinking of how my mother used always say ‘visit when I am alive and we can share laughter and love of books and nature rather than fussing over a funeral. ‘
Have a fun-filled, lively and creative weekš
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I forgot, Just A Closer Walk: George Lewis.
I also ponder with 2 tunes relatively new to me
Pro Memoria by Ghost
Killed by Death by Motorhead
Enjoy!
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Iāve always liked the idea of Cabaret – as sung by Liza Minnelli in the film of the same name. We had a humanist ceremony for my father . No songs, actually – it was all outside and we had poetry – one very personal one written by my sister. When, very sadly, my brother in law passed away, he had previously chosen Gimme Shelter by the Stones and his family chose Thank you for the days by the Kinks. It was all very suitable and moving.
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Hello Jenny and how lovely to hear from you. Thanks for this. Yes poetry might be a good call. I saw Ray Davies himself perform ‘Days’ here in Jersey a few years ago, a good choice I’d say.
I hope that, funerals aside, things are good with you.
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Oh wow. Heavy question! I remember crying at multiple funerals while trying to sing “How Great Thou Art.” And for some reason, everyone chooses “On Eagle’s Wings.” That song is nothing but a funeral to me. But since you headed into Black Sabbath territory, I’ll add Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young.” Hey, you started it:).
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Great choice Kristine, and one that wouldn’t have everyone edging towards the door. The thing is the deceased ought to get at least a say in the matter before things are finalised (and maybe Black Sabbath are vetoed).
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I have thought about my selection but will leave it up to whoever is there. I will be dead and won’t care unless I am wrong about heaven and mortality…
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Of course that’s a sensible option which most take by default Kerry. I’m not sure I’ll ever get around to changing my Will in that regard. Of course close family can override your wishes.
Some years ago the legal office I worked for had to administer the Will of a deceased lady whose final wish was that her remains be taken to Israel. The lawyer in charge decided the clause was unreasonable. I imagine my wishes might be similarly overridden.
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The chances are that it will be a younger relative and they might just love your choices. My poor cousin has to come all the way to bloody Texas so he can play whatever he likes. Having said all that. I love the idea of a Creole funeral with horse and carriage, dancing and music. š“
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Ah now you’ve opened a world of possibilities Kerry. Maybe a shotgun salute, or prancing horses with black feathers following an old-style Irish wake. Makes a few rock songs seen positively boring.
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I hope to have a natural burial in a gorgeous woodland not far from our house. I would like my choir to sing something for me – not sure which piece yet. A silver birch will be planted on my grave.
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That would be fabulous ER. I suggest ‘Songs From the Wood’, Jethro Tull, which the choir might enjoy. Far removed from a traditional church service which is an aspect I’d wish for.
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